SCHOOL !?

8 Weeks of school holidays gone just like that!!? Now its gonna be 4 terms , which is 40 weeks of schooling! and 2 weeks holidays for each term break which is after every 10 weeks. To be honest i'm pretty excited for school! New uniforms,new subjects, new classes (: I have a greaaat felling that school is gonna go smooth this time (; Alpie and I are taking the same subs this year. so as hazel i guess? I hope we are all gonna be in the same class xD It wud be like effing fun ayee. Well sch's starting on friday officially. But i will have to attend rimu's assembly on thursday and later on gonna meet friends back in tutor group (; Im hopping for something funnnn this year in school . Year 11 is gonna be scary i reckon , thanks to NCEA :\ But what the hell , here i come schooool! xD

Life's a SLUT , Karma's a BITCH .

Life can be so shitty at times . Cause of certain people i understood the term ' Chose yr friends wisely '. Before this i used to take everyone as a friend, and some as my close friends, and some as my best friends ,i never had enemies to be honest. Just hated some bitches and sluts . Thats it. But now , cause of all the shit i have caused and thanks to some friends that i trusted , karma has hit me hard :\ Well who cares, i have my own life to live and focus on btw (; So i'm just gonna ignore every shit that is going on at the moment. To Darlene , I'm sorry for everything i have caused or said. You should know i didn't really mean it at all. It's just some misunderstanding dey . You know you are one of my good friend and I love you tons darl. I'm seriously sorry. And i hope everything is gonna be fine with you , sorry again hun ):

So much to say but so little time ..

I seriously don't get it why people think i blog whenever i get emotional? I mean like , Its always like

this,

RANDOMPERSON : Hey what you doing ?

ME : umm, blogging ?

RANDOMPERSON : Oh what happend, why emo now ?

Me : :S

Yeah, i get that alot . Well maybe , most probably , i am always mentally emotional , like most of the time . Stuff goes around my mind most of the time . And at times , at least 4 or 5 time per week, I go through major breakdown about life ? Its like this moment of life where i get all mentally disorder or something by screaming in pain and start tearing and hurt myself with objects nearby . Oh well , forget it . I swear i cant be stuffed about myself or my life anymore .

I seriously don't know who reads my blog :\ Well i do know people drop by it . But who will actually waste their precious time to read all this junks i write right? Even the person who is meant to read it , most probably won't have much time to read it because the person has a life to live and stuff to do . Lol and by the time u realize its you , it might be ages, because i think you don't even know this blog exist haha .

Well to be honest, I feel like the old me now . I am afraid to get attached with a person . I am afraid to care about a person too much . Cause at the end , it's gonna effect me tons . Like what I'm feeling now. I go through hell most of the time . I try to forget stuff , make myself busy , distract myself by doing chores , going out , but i fail at times , but this is the life i choose to live with , so i will just try to live it . My mum thinks i pms all the time , which isn't true , i just get so fucking moody these days .

The god isn't with me these days , not even my mum , nor him , don't even wanna mention brother here :\ Friends try their best to help , but words doesn't really help . Action does , and i fucking hate it when people say stuff they don't or will never mean . It's better to just fucking shuttap aye.

People are to busy with their own lives , including him , and i don't wanna bother u guys . I understand that you have a life to live . Yes , i might need some attention at times, but I will try my best to overcome the pain i'm going through by myself , and i know dad will help me with that :)

At this very moment, I so believe in karma , I understand why am I going through this kinda shit in my life . Well yeah , i do deserve all this . I am all good with suffering now. Like i swear , god's torturing me now . I so know it . Its just so obvious . People are being very mean to me . Like everybody , i reckon. Not excluding anyone . Feels like i'm in hell instead of earth to be honest lol .

People care less about me now. I think I mentioned this once last year, I wanna go somewhere far and never return and I wanna be dead for a day just to see people's reaction . Haha , that would be wicked aye. Again , i'm not gonna be pissed with you for caring less about what stuff I do in my life . Cause again , you have your own life to live and might as well have fun with it . I shall just hide it all within myself and you are never gonna know the pain i go through . Unless you read this blog like on the spot i post it . Haha , which is never gonna happen .

To the person who reached to this paragraph , haha bravo/brava dude! Well thanks for reading this whole junk of shit i typed . This is just a hint about what's going on in my life ( currently ) . At the moment i seriously feel so shitty . I don't feel like talking to anyone. Im pissing off everyone at the moment . My mum is so pissed with me for my horrible attitude . Dasa's words are making me to plan my suicide as soon as possible . I am screaming at each and every single reply to them . I just can't fucking take this pain anymore . But i fucking have to . Cause it's all about that karma bitch .

At this point , feels like im gonna break down anytime . I HAVE NO ONE WITH ME AT THIS VERY MOMENT . You people just say stuff , i'm gonna be here for you , i'm there , I will be here always for you , and all fucking shit . But you can't fucking mean it aye. I don't feel like making up to my mother cause she's being effing mean to me . She has been asking me to appreciate things , life , etc and she's not trying to make me feel better at all . Most probably , she's busy with her life to aye?

BUT WTF, LIFE'S BEING A BITCH , WHY SHOULD I APPRECIATE IT ? I DON'T EVEN FUCKING HAVE THINGS TO APPRECIATE , WHAT IS THERE TO APPRECIATE ? APPRECIATE ALL THE GOOD TIMES THAT GOD TOOK AWAY FROM ME HUH? APPRECIATE THE PAIN GOD'S LETTING ME GO THROUGH? APPRECIATE MY FUCKING LIFE ? THIS IS WHAT I MEAN BY FUCK MY LIFE !

To all you peeps who's busy with your lives , have fun , and i shall hope no one will gain a live like mine . Peace . God bless you guys . and he will never bless me . that's for sure. I haveeee no idea what shit am i gonna go through somemoreee :S , when's life even gonna get better for me? SIGHS .

And yeah , i have blogged about another emotional story today .

Touching me.. Teasing me.. Telling me no..

Currently im feeling seriously mixed up , infact i dont know what to feel. Im emotional mixed up, that's for sure. Very confused about life. Hmm! School's gonna start in awhile.. Life's gonna be stressed up but i shall handle it in a positive way tho :) Im confusing myself i reckon . Complicating stuff by myself and yeah :\ I feel pretty akward these days.. Feel like starting a new life, but i fail at times D:

Like a great example today , I forced myself to get my ass of the bed , around 11 ish, well i woke up earlier but i extended my sleeping time and yeah.. I was suppose to go to the temple , by 12 , thats wat my mum said , so i took my shower and got in clothes and rushed into the car , by the time we reached there it was already 11.35 , and the temple was fucking shut? is that even possible ? for a temple to close ==' So i got really pisst , and told mum ! GOD IS JUST FUCKING PISSING ME OFF IN EVERYTHING! FML! So that gave me a great start for the day. Life's just getting fucked up each day. I really want it to over at times . A perfect life would be , Him & I , Together , Forever , and yeah. But thats like not gonna happen for now ! so fml ! And since last night, i have been playing ride it song non stop . like something went into my mind and told me to get addicted with it . somehow i find his voice smexy hot in that song. jay sean i meant. but then im srsly not into his looks :\ He's effing gay and i dont even care bout it :) I am suppose to be asleep now. Its mummy's bday tmrw . We all might be going out in the morning . So I cant wait . Lily's gonna be there, so yay? Lol imma hit the bed in awhile . Dasa's not letting me go , he's asking me to steal mum's car key ==' and he gave me a bottle of beer. im done with half of it. eyes burning like fuck . i feel so gassy . videocalling with azzy and he said said im drunk o.O chiowww fr now .

p/s:

RIDE IT IS SMEXY .

URGH!

Im like already going through this pain , dasa was torturing me, havent got enough sleep yet and was chatting with b just now , and i was about to go off and this is what happend . I decided to remove my chat box , darlene came saying that someones spamming my chat box while we were on msn , and i was like wtf , and checked out , and these people were spamming as 'sang boobs' and ' sang vagina' like WTF right . and all those fucking disgusting words came out from them . like yuckk . so i had to remove the chat box cause it was getting worst each min. and after removing , darl told me to add up azzy , and both of them were like being sorry for me and at the end they went saying ' YOU JUST GOT SPAMMED ' WHAT THEEE FUCKKK RIGHT. apparently darlene was 'sang boobs' and azzy was ' sang vagina '. OMG LIKE SERIOUSLY MAN . FUCK YOU GUYS MAHN! ARGHHHHH !

Blueberry Muffins xD

Apparently January is going pretty smooth.. Well maybe not that smooth! Last night , i woke up like several times and had pretty random dreams! And if i'm not mistaken , my pillow dropped on my stand fan , and when i reached to grab it , apparently the stand fan got unstable and fell on my head , which woke me up and i actually did realise that summer mornings are getting pretty hot. So I decided to grab some water which was around 4 am? and it was all bright already by then. Then i continued my sleep till afternoon, where i suffered to get out from my bed . As soon as i did, i took my shower and washed up and grabbed my laptop and came online . Suprisingly baby was online 50 mins ago , and there's where i started blaming myself for waking up late again since this wasnt the first time . SIGHS . so i decided not to grumble and continue my day :) Then i went into mum's room with my lappy and sat on the bed . Apparently she was watching this movie called , ' The Lovely Bones ' or something .. so i just sat there and i was on trademe and google finding for jobs . for students. and damn , i still cudnt find one. Well i applied in the Warehouse , and they still havent replied me yet . Grrr . And Fariz was online , we were chatting , and he was asking me to come back , he said it was pretty boring there without me. the house is too quiet and etc. and i told him to get me a ticket and i shall be there :) theeeeen dasa started kicking me because he was bored, so i started kicking him back . And then we both got bored , and dasa was like , ' Eh lets bake those muffins up ?' and i was like , ' What the heck , sure why not ' . And then we both were like in the kitchen doing up stuff. I took pics of the muffins! lol dasa allowed me to decorate them . WHICH DIDNT TURN OUT THAT WELL. and apparently dasa was on my msn chatting with darlene . grrr . but the muffins tasted all good ;)

well it was suppose to be S <3 M (if you didnt get what the pic says )and and we did even moreee muffins! Mini ones and big ones! Then mum cooked lunch and i cudnt finish the muffins :( There were like ! TONS ! of them :) FRESH AND HOT BLUEBERRY MUFFINS! (: theeeeeen i got lifeless , and i decided to write these shit here and currently im chatting with sharanthhh about our so damn awesomeee genting trip after our exams with 12 people and he will be driving after getting his license and guess what!? he's already checking the hotel prices to book them early! ==' lol im also chatting with kashh , vineshh , haviii and darleneee (: I was suppose to start studying today , but what the heck , as b said , school is like neeeext month right . so who gives a damn bout it now . hahah xD Thats it fer now ! Im outt ! And below , i insert some pics of my successful muffins! (:

Lets UN-BEWAFA it (:

Well recently , i have been listening to this song called Bewafa by Imran Khan . Well i saw it on my Limewire ages ago , most prob dasa downloaded it earlier or some shit . But I'm getting way addicted to it these days! Hmm well , the lyric of this song doesn't really cling with me . One of my friend told me , bewafa means unfaithful . Which seriously doesn't exist in my dictionary lol. Therefore , i decided to change it to unbewafa , and if you are on my msn , you can see it as UN-BE-WHY-FAR . So one of my friend got pretty confused and asked me , whats up with unbewhyfar thingy on yr msn name? And i explained to her . I told Visa, unbywhyfar means unbewafa, and she asked me whats bewafa? And i replied , its unfaithful ? And she went, 'doesn't that make it as UN UNFAITHFUL? LOL! Sangeetha! It can just be faithful!'. Haha , i swear i couldn't stop loling . Well im just pretty obsessed with this song at the moment . And i want something positive out of it . It's just so catchy . Haha , it's on my blog , and hope you guys will enjoy it ! It's something like Takin Back My Love by Enrique . I find the song so powerful and awesome . I really do like that song . But I just can't accept it cause I can't love it. Because it's just so negetive lol . But the ending kinda caught me tho ;)

2O1O already ?

Well ! Its effing 2O1O already! Im like all ' 2OO9 ? Where are you ? ' still . I bet there are still some people out there feeling lost.. and etc.. lol . Well im not ! Actually , im excited! Eventhough 2O1O is going fucked up at the moment . Im not gonna blame the year yett . Cause it has just been 3 days -.- and it feels like im suffering cause of 'certain' people. Anyways! Back to the topic ! OMG ! its 2O1O ! AND IM 15 ! Omgg! Omgg! Omfgg! Omggg! ( just fyi , i can continue this the whole day, so skip! ) Well Havi and I are pretty excited! xD Cause its 2 years more fer 2O12! Wooooot! hahah, for 'some' reason, we can't wait . Lol soo sch's starting in like 4 weeks.. sighs.. But im all ready for it! SO BRING IT ON! NCEA! haha , year 11's gonna be interesting and i can't wait fer this year to end! and IM GETTING MY CAR LEARNERS IN LESS THEN 2 MONTHS XD mum thinks everything's going sooo fast . But naaa! It's all good with me! (: All i know is imsoooo gonna LOVE 2O1O ! <3