Hello!

I'm Sang , 15 , i have been bloggin for 2 fucking years. and still haven't figured out what i have been gaining from it lol. It's just a stress relieve thingy i reckon. Hmmm , i pretty much just realized that my old posts were crap! Might as well realise later on that this thing im writting now is crap too LOLL. Well life's full of ups and downs at the momenttt. I love and hate it at the same time somehow :\

At the moment, I dont know what i am upto :\ I feeeeeel lifeless , like very :( Mahn , i need my happiness now , like so badly :\ But what the heck , peepz have to do more and expect less in life aye. Shucksss mahn ><

Anywaaaaays , i kinda activated my fb like after a few days writing the post below lol . Mainly I was pretty much forced too , and i also got pretty much bored living the life out of facebook lol . Well my friends missed me in it! So yeah , i did it for them (:

Weeeeeell , last week, I had like my maths test and few other asessments. Maths turned out to be all goood mahn . But bloody compound interest was damaging my brain . ARGH ><>

And ummm , last friday i got my nose pierced ! :D I was expecting to get it done in like 3 years or so . But then i wanted to do something exciting since life was so dull , so yeah . I MADE alpiee to follow me to highland park.. like fer a 30 mins walk.. and got it done there for 10 bucks.. and another 30 mins walk balk home , well my mum cbs bringing me , so i had to do it by myself :D

I think it's pretty cool cause it somehow changes the whole structure of my facial ? LOLL . that didnt make sense aye ><>

the picture is pretty weird .. but what the heck.. So yeah , i pretty much changed my piercing like for the 4th time already :\ And it fucking hurts.. Grrr but its all about the face structure aye. So it's all good fer now! (:

As for this week, I'm having my science internal assesment which worths 3 credits tomorrow. English formal writing assesment. And CIT keyboarding assesment. BUTTTT im planning to wag on this thursday . MAINLY cuz of hazel and alpana are forcing me too cuz they wanna wag and hang out in my place..? LOL ><>

I'm actually back to boredem now. Imma get some food before bed . Watch some teeveh. Do some revision. AND HIT THE BED! and wake up early tmrw (:

:L

Havent blogged in agessss. But i will be backkk very soooon! and and I deactivated my fb, so its gonna hard to catch me online these days. bwahahahah xD

SCHOOL !?

8 Weeks of school holidays gone just like that!!? Now its gonna be 4 terms , which is 40 weeks of schooling! and 2 weeks holidays for each term break which is after every 10 weeks. To be honest i'm pretty excited for school! New uniforms,new subjects, new classes (: I have a greaaat felling that school is gonna go smooth this time (; Alpie and I are taking the same subs this year. so as hazel i guess? I hope we are all gonna be in the same class xD It wud be like effing fun ayee. Well sch's starting on friday officially. But i will have to attend rimu's assembly on thursday and later on gonna meet friends back in tutor group (; Im hopping for something funnnn this year in school . Year 11 is gonna be scary i reckon , thanks to NCEA :\ But what the hell , here i come schooool! xD

Life's a SLUT , Karma's a BITCH .

Life can be so shitty at times . Cause of certain people i understood the term ' Chose yr friends wisely '. Before this i used to take everyone as a friend, and some as my close friends, and some as my best friends ,i never had enemies to be honest. Just hated some bitches and sluts . Thats it. But now , cause of all the shit i have caused and thanks to some friends that i trusted , karma has hit me hard :\ Well who cares, i have my own life to live and focus on btw (; So i'm just gonna ignore every shit that is going on at the moment. To Darlene , I'm sorry for everything i have caused or said. You should know i didn't really mean it at all. It's just some misunderstanding dey . You know you are one of my good friend and I love you tons darl. I'm seriously sorry. And i hope everything is gonna be fine with you , sorry again hun ):

So much to say but so little time ..

I seriously don't get it why people think i blog whenever i get emotional? I mean like , Its always like

this,

RANDOMPERSON : Hey what you doing ?

ME : umm, blogging ?

RANDOMPERSON : Oh what happend, why emo now ?

Me : :S

Yeah, i get that alot . Well maybe , most probably , i am always mentally emotional , like most of the time . Stuff goes around my mind most of the time . And at times , at least 4 or 5 time per week, I go through major breakdown about life ? Its like this moment of life where i get all mentally disorder or something by screaming in pain and start tearing and hurt myself with objects nearby . Oh well , forget it . I swear i cant be stuffed about myself or my life anymore .

I seriously don't know who reads my blog :\ Well i do know people drop by it . But who will actually waste their precious time to read all this junks i write right? Even the person who is meant to read it , most probably won't have much time to read it because the person has a life to live and stuff to do . Lol and by the time u realize its you , it might be ages, because i think you don't even know this blog exist haha .

Well to be honest, I feel like the old me now . I am afraid to get attached with a person . I am afraid to care about a person too much . Cause at the end , it's gonna effect me tons . Like what I'm feeling now. I go through hell most of the time . I try to forget stuff , make myself busy , distract myself by doing chores , going out , but i fail at times , but this is the life i choose to live with , so i will just try to live it . My mum thinks i pms all the time , which isn't true , i just get so fucking moody these days .

The god isn't with me these days , not even my mum , nor him , don't even wanna mention brother here :\ Friends try their best to help , but words doesn't really help . Action does , and i fucking hate it when people say stuff they don't or will never mean . It's better to just fucking shuttap aye.

People are to busy with their own lives , including him , and i don't wanna bother u guys . I understand that you have a life to live . Yes , i might need some attention at times, but I will try my best to overcome the pain i'm going through by myself , and i know dad will help me with that :)

At this very moment, I so believe in karma , I understand why am I going through this kinda shit in my life . Well yeah , i do deserve all this . I am all good with suffering now. Like i swear , god's torturing me now . I so know it . Its just so obvious . People are being very mean to me . Like everybody , i reckon. Not excluding anyone . Feels like i'm in hell instead of earth to be honest lol .

People care less about me now. I think I mentioned this once last year, I wanna go somewhere far and never return and I wanna be dead for a day just to see people's reaction . Haha , that would be wicked aye. Again , i'm not gonna be pissed with you for caring less about what stuff I do in my life . Cause again , you have your own life to live and might as well have fun with it . I shall just hide it all within myself and you are never gonna know the pain i go through . Unless you read this blog like on the spot i post it . Haha , which is never gonna happen .

To the person who reached to this paragraph , haha bravo/brava dude! Well thanks for reading this whole junk of shit i typed . This is just a hint about what's going on in my life ( currently ) . At the moment i seriously feel so shitty . I don't feel like talking to anyone. Im pissing off everyone at the moment . My mum is so pissed with me for my horrible attitude . Dasa's words are making me to plan my suicide as soon as possible . I am screaming at each and every single reply to them . I just can't fucking take this pain anymore . But i fucking have to . Cause it's all about that karma bitch .

At this point , feels like im gonna break down anytime . I HAVE NO ONE WITH ME AT THIS VERY MOMENT . You people just say stuff , i'm gonna be here for you , i'm there , I will be here always for you , and all fucking shit . But you can't fucking mean it aye. I don't feel like making up to my mother cause she's being effing mean to me . She has been asking me to appreciate things , life , etc and she's not trying to make me feel better at all . Most probably , she's busy with her life to aye?

BUT WTF, LIFE'S BEING A BITCH , WHY SHOULD I APPRECIATE IT ? I DON'T EVEN FUCKING HAVE THINGS TO APPRECIATE , WHAT IS THERE TO APPRECIATE ? APPRECIATE ALL THE GOOD TIMES THAT GOD TOOK AWAY FROM ME HUH? APPRECIATE THE PAIN GOD'S LETTING ME GO THROUGH? APPRECIATE MY FUCKING LIFE ? THIS IS WHAT I MEAN BY FUCK MY LIFE !

To all you peeps who's busy with your lives , have fun , and i shall hope no one will gain a live like mine . Peace . God bless you guys . and he will never bless me . that's for sure. I haveeee no idea what shit am i gonna go through somemoreee :S , when's life even gonna get better for me? SIGHS .

And yeah , i have blogged about another emotional story today .