URGH!

Im like already going through this pain , dasa was torturing me, havent got enough sleep yet and was chatting with b just now , and i was about to go off and this is what happend . I decided to remove my chat box , darlene came saying that someones spamming my chat box while we were on msn , and i was like wtf , and checked out , and these people were spamming as 'sang boobs' and ' sang vagina' like WTF right . and all those fucking disgusting words came out from them . like yuckk . so i had to remove the chat box cause it was getting worst each min. and after removing , darl told me to add up azzy , and both of them were like being sorry for me and at the end they went saying ' YOU JUST GOT SPAMMED ' WHAT THEEE FUCKKK RIGHT. apparently darlene was 'sang boobs' and azzy was ' sang vagina '. OMG LIKE SERIOUSLY MAN . FUCK YOU GUYS MAHN! ARGHHHHH !

Blueberry Muffins xD

Apparently January is going pretty smooth.. Well maybe not that smooth! Last night , i woke up like several times and had pretty random dreams! And if i'm not mistaken , my pillow dropped on my stand fan , and when i reached to grab it , apparently the stand fan got unstable and fell on my head , which woke me up and i actually did realise that summer mornings are getting pretty hot. So I decided to grab some water which was around 4 am? and it was all bright already by then. Then i continued my sleep till afternoon, where i suffered to get out from my bed . As soon as i did, i took my shower and washed up and grabbed my laptop and came online . Suprisingly baby was online 50 mins ago , and there's where i started blaming myself for waking up late again since this wasnt the first time . SIGHS . so i decided not to grumble and continue my day :) Then i went into mum's room with my lappy and sat on the bed . Apparently she was watching this movie called , ' The Lovely Bones ' or something .. so i just sat there and i was on trademe and google finding for jobs . for students. and damn , i still cudnt find one. Well i applied in the Warehouse , and they still havent replied me yet . Grrr . And Fariz was online , we were chatting , and he was asking me to come back , he said it was pretty boring there without me. the house is too quiet and etc. and i told him to get me a ticket and i shall be there :) theeeeen dasa started kicking me because he was bored, so i started kicking him back . And then we both got bored , and dasa was like , ' Eh lets bake those muffins up ?' and i was like , ' What the heck , sure why not ' . And then we both were like in the kitchen doing up stuff. I took pics of the muffins! lol dasa allowed me to decorate them . WHICH DIDNT TURN OUT THAT WELL. and apparently dasa was on my msn chatting with darlene . grrr . but the muffins tasted all good ;)

well it was suppose to be S <3 M (if you didnt get what the pic says )and and we did even moreee muffins! Mini ones and big ones! Then mum cooked lunch and i cudnt finish the muffins :( There were like ! TONS ! of them :) FRESH AND HOT BLUEBERRY MUFFINS! (: theeeeeen i got lifeless , and i decided to write these shit here and currently im chatting with sharanthhh about our so damn awesomeee genting trip after our exams with 12 people and he will be driving after getting his license and guess what!? he's already checking the hotel prices to book them early! ==' lol im also chatting with kashh , vineshh , haviii and darleneee (: I was suppose to start studying today , but what the heck , as b said , school is like neeeext month right . so who gives a damn bout it now . hahah xD Thats it fer now ! Im outt ! And below , i insert some pics of my successful muffins! (:

Lets UN-BEWAFA it (:

Well recently , i have been listening to this song called Bewafa by Imran Khan . Well i saw it on my Limewire ages ago , most prob dasa downloaded it earlier or some shit . But I'm getting way addicted to it these days! Hmm well , the lyric of this song doesn't really cling with me . One of my friend told me , bewafa means unfaithful . Which seriously doesn't exist in my dictionary lol. Therefore , i decided to change it to unbewafa , and if you are on my msn , you can see it as UN-BE-WHY-FAR . So one of my friend got pretty confused and asked me , whats up with unbewhyfar thingy on yr msn name? And i explained to her . I told Visa, unbywhyfar means unbewafa, and she asked me whats bewafa? And i replied , its unfaithful ? And she went, 'doesn't that make it as UN UNFAITHFUL? LOL! Sangeetha! It can just be faithful!'. Haha , i swear i couldn't stop loling . Well im just pretty obsessed with this song at the moment . And i want something positive out of it . It's just so catchy . Haha , it's on my blog , and hope you guys will enjoy it ! It's something like Takin Back My Love by Enrique . I find the song so powerful and awesome . I really do like that song . But I just can't accept it cause I can't love it. Because it's just so negetive lol . But the ending kinda caught me tho ;)

2O1O already ?

Well ! Its effing 2O1O already! Im like all ' 2OO9 ? Where are you ? ' still . I bet there are still some people out there feeling lost.. and etc.. lol . Well im not ! Actually , im excited! Eventhough 2O1O is going fucked up at the moment . Im not gonna blame the year yett . Cause it has just been 3 days -.- and it feels like im suffering cause of 'certain' people. Anyways! Back to the topic ! OMG ! its 2O1O ! AND IM 15 ! Omgg! Omgg! Omfgg! Omggg! ( just fyi , i can continue this the whole day, so skip! ) Well Havi and I are pretty excited! xD Cause its 2 years more fer 2O12! Wooooot! hahah, for 'some' reason, we can't wait . Lol soo sch's starting in like 4 weeks.. sighs.. But im all ready for it! SO BRING IT ON! NCEA! haha , year 11's gonna be interesting and i can't wait fer this year to end! and IM GETTING MY CAR LEARNERS IN LESS THEN 2 MONTHS XD mum thinks everything's going sooo fast . But naaa! It's all good with me! (: All i know is imsoooo gonna LOVE 2O1O ! <3

FUCK 2009 , FUCK EVERYTHING , FUCK MY LIFE

What did i even do in this life of mine to be treated like this . What mistakes have i even commit throughout my whole life ? Do i deserved to be punish and left hurt like this ? All I did was to try my best being a good human being in this world . I never did wanted to hurt you . But all you can say is that i have gave you problems ? And when I try talking to you , all you can say is, I am rude and I am arguing , what the heck is going on my life god ? I gave you everything you want , and what do I get back ? Nothing . And you start comparing me with your fucking first birth . And saying that you have been spending more on me ? After all the problems that sob caused, out of no where you care bout him more ? All I know is I FUCKING HATE FIRST BIRTH . THEY FUCKING GET EVERYTHING THEY WANT . AND THEY FUCKING DON'T GET BLAMED FOR ANYTHING . You told me to be independent, Okay , Fine , I will . So after this you have got no business in my life . Since ITS MY LIFE NOW . AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME RIGHT . FINE . I'M CERTAINLY FINE WITH THAT. I will just survive thinking ALL THE PAIN YOU HAVE CAUSED IN MY LIFE AND I WILL JUST HATE YOU EVEN MORE . AND I KNOW THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT . AND NO THIS IS NOT ABOUT A FUCKING IPOD TOUCH , ITS ABOUT YOU TREATING ME FUCKED UP IN MY FUCKING LIFE . I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE . I have never done anything that would hurt you . I gave you good results and I did my chores . I played my role properly in your so called family . WHY CANT YOU JUST FUCKING APPRECIATE ME ? It just bloody makes me think that I'M USELESS IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING EARTH . WHY AM I EVEN FUCKING ALIVE IF I'M SUFFERING DAY BY DAY BY A PERSON LIKE YOU ? SOMETIMES I WONDER IF YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT ME ? WHY DID YOU EVEN GIVE BIRTH TO ME ? WHY ? TO TORTURE ME ?

You people just don't fucking give a damn about me . I just fucking wanna run away and never come back . I know I can't change you all , but I will try to change myself , hide every pain i gain from you , and pretend to be happy infront of you , I know that would satisfy you people. AND YEAH , I'M JUST AN ODINARY GIRL WITH FUCKING MIXED EMOTIONS . ALL I FUCKING ASK IS FOR SOME APPRECIATION . SO PLEASE DON'T HURT ME LIKE THIS ! I JUST CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN ANYMORE ! IT'S JUST SO HURTING . IT'S LIKE I'M SMILING OUTSIDE AND I'M DYING INSIDE . I WONDER IF YOU EVEN CARE BOUT ME LIKE YOU USED TO LAST TIME . CAUSE YOU AREN'T THE PERSON I KNEW .

I WANNA DIE - DARK LOTUS FTW .