Lets UN-BEWAFA it (:

Well recently , i have been listening to this song called Bewafa by Imran Khan . Well i saw it on my Limewire ages ago , most prob dasa downloaded it earlier or some shit . But I'm getting way addicted to it these days! Hmm well , the lyric of this song doesn't really cling with me . One of my friend told me , bewafa means unfaithful . Which seriously doesn't exist in my dictionary lol. Therefore , i decided to change it to unbewafa , and if you are on my msn , you can see it as UN-BE-WHY-FAR . So one of my friend got pretty confused and asked me , whats up with unbewhyfar thingy on yr msn name? And i explained to her . I told Visa, unbywhyfar means unbewafa, and she asked me whats bewafa? And i replied , its unfaithful ? And she went, 'doesn't that make it as UN UNFAITHFUL? LOL! Sangeetha! It can just be faithful!'. Haha , i swear i couldn't stop loling . Well im just pretty obsessed with this song at the moment . And i want something positive out of it . It's just so catchy . Haha , it's on my blog , and hope you guys will enjoy it ! It's something like Takin Back My Love by Enrique . I find the song so powerful and awesome . I really do like that song . But I just can't accept it cause I can't love it. Because it's just so negetive lol . But the ending kinda caught me tho ;)

2O1O already ?

Well ! Its effing 2O1O already! Im like all ' 2OO9 ? Where are you ? ' still . I bet there are still some people out there feeling lost.. and etc.. lol . Well im not ! Actually , im excited! Eventhough 2O1O is going fucked up at the moment . Im not gonna blame the year yett . Cause it has just been 3 days -.- and it feels like im suffering cause of 'certain' people. Anyways! Back to the topic ! OMG ! its 2O1O ! AND IM 15 ! Omgg! Omgg! Omfgg! Omggg! ( just fyi , i can continue this the whole day, so skip! ) Well Havi and I are pretty excited! xD Cause its 2 years more fer 2O12! Wooooot! hahah, for 'some' reason, we can't wait . Lol soo sch's starting in like 4 weeks.. sighs.. But im all ready for it! SO BRING IT ON! NCEA! haha , year 11's gonna be interesting and i can't wait fer this year to end! and IM GETTING MY CAR LEARNERS IN LESS THEN 2 MONTHS XD mum thinks everything's going sooo fast . But naaa! It's all good with me! (: All i know is imsoooo gonna LOVE 2O1O ! <3

FUCK 2009 , FUCK EVERYTHING , FUCK MY LIFE

What did i even do in this life of mine to be treated like this . What mistakes have i even commit throughout my whole life ? Do i deserved to be punish and left hurt like this ? All I did was to try my best being a good human being in this world . I never did wanted to hurt you . But all you can say is that i have gave you problems ? And when I try talking to you , all you can say is, I am rude and I am arguing , what the heck is going on my life god ? I gave you everything you want , and what do I get back ? Nothing . And you start comparing me with your fucking first birth . And saying that you have been spending more on me ? After all the problems that sob caused, out of no where you care bout him more ? All I know is I FUCKING HATE FIRST BIRTH . THEY FUCKING GET EVERYTHING THEY WANT . AND THEY FUCKING DON'T GET BLAMED FOR ANYTHING . You told me to be independent, Okay , Fine , I will . So after this you have got no business in my life . Since ITS MY LIFE NOW . AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME RIGHT . FINE . I'M CERTAINLY FINE WITH THAT. I will just survive thinking ALL THE PAIN YOU HAVE CAUSED IN MY LIFE AND I WILL JUST HATE YOU EVEN MORE . AND I KNOW THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT . AND NO THIS IS NOT ABOUT A FUCKING IPOD TOUCH , ITS ABOUT YOU TREATING ME FUCKED UP IN MY FUCKING LIFE . I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE . I have never done anything that would hurt you . I gave you good results and I did my chores . I played my role properly in your so called family . WHY CANT YOU JUST FUCKING APPRECIATE ME ? It just bloody makes me think that I'M USELESS IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING EARTH . WHY AM I EVEN FUCKING ALIVE IF I'M SUFFERING DAY BY DAY BY A PERSON LIKE YOU ? SOMETIMES I WONDER IF YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT ME ? WHY DID YOU EVEN GIVE BIRTH TO ME ? WHY ? TO TORTURE ME ?

You people just don't fucking give a damn about me . I just fucking wanna run away and never come back . I know I can't change you all , but I will try to change myself , hide every pain i gain from you , and pretend to be happy infront of you , I know that would satisfy you people. AND YEAH , I'M JUST AN ODINARY GIRL WITH FUCKING MIXED EMOTIONS . ALL I FUCKING ASK IS FOR SOME APPRECIATION . SO PLEASE DON'T HURT ME LIKE THIS ! I JUST CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN ANYMORE ! IT'S JUST SO HURTING . IT'S LIKE I'M SMILING OUTSIDE AND I'M DYING INSIDE . I WONDER IF YOU EVEN CARE BOUT ME LIKE YOU USED TO LAST TIME . CAUSE YOU AREN'T THE PERSON I KNEW .

I WANNA DIE - DARK LOTUS FTW .

Shit happens aye?

It's a Saturday and I am so damn boring already . Its gonna be 1 pm and i haven't had my lunch yet . I woke up 2 hours ago and I brushed my teeth and straight switched on my lappy and went facebooking . Now , I'm blogging and chatting with Darlene. Updating ourselves . It's so obvious that I'm lifeless cause i aint doing anything besides being online. How i wish i could spend my saturday outing around with my friends. I would have if i was in Malaysia! Everyday is a new day there aye? Hmmm , look how boredem can kill our life.

What that bitchyo said is still on my mind somehow . I cant take it out. Its just too harsh . It might be a joke for her. But It fucking bothers me. Grrrr . My mum ditched me today . I wanted to go out . But it was obviously a big fat NO from her . The good thing is that im not hungry since i skipped dinner last night . The bad thing is that i'm bored . I wanna do something . Lol i am suppose to finish my evaluation for science . I'm suprised that i am actually gonna gain 4 credits for that! woott! lol i have to start working on that in awhile perhaps . Later i might be meeting up with lily! like after 10 weeks! But i know things changed massively already . Teddy is with me at the moment . We are so bored . Lolololol , i took some photos of teddy recently . I think it teddy looks so kewl innit ;]

teddy with the bands i got xD

teddy with the shades i got in malaysia xD

After SoDamnFreakingWeaky Long .

Omg!I'm blogging! After like how many months i wonder.. Lol thanks to my friend vinesh . He kind of brought me up all in the mood to start blogging. First of all , I feel so lost here 0.0 Hahaha. There's only one thing running on my mind now , 'TIME FLIES FREGGIN FAST ' xO .

My previous blog ( which was on june ) was way emotional . I tried learning my mistakes since i wrote that . And actually started appreciating things . And things turned out well . I actually got a chance to go back to Malaysia Ku Yg Tercinta lol . I had awesome , tons , loads of fun memories . It was fun to know , that there were few ' countable' peoples who actually missed me fer the past one year . And i also received compliments from them . I found them so random . But i started blushing tho lol. 5 Awesome Weeks in Msia was the awesome-est thing ever . And again , it past in a blink of an eye . Dayum ! Can't wait for my next trip . Wheeee xD

And now , back to so damn 'lifeless' country , New Zieeee. Things aren't really the same . No fun , thrill , and every freaking day is the same . Grrrr . Im trying my best to make life interesting like in so many ways . Jeeeeez . School life is going on a great mess at the moment . People are trying to link my facebook life with my real life . LIKE WTF . They just cant stop bitching bitching and bitching . Especially in bloody dance class. Those bitches just get on my nerves . Throws the ball on my should and fucking say ' YOU ARE LIKE SUPPOSE TO CATCH THE BALL ?' and i cud have fucking replied ' WELL THROW IT TO MY HANDS THEN BITCH ?' Damn , i just cant wait fer this term to over . And shift college most probably! GOSH!UGHH!GRRR!

This whole month is gonna be full of exams. 5 more weeks till the for my 2 months bummer holidays! Can't wait like seriouslly . I just can't take it with bitches totures . It's seriouslly annoying . Trust me . I miss my malaysia life so damn much at this very moment . It would have been so fun if i was actually studying there . But it would have sucked educational wise . I would have just be in year 8 , and im like entering year 11 in new zieee . Which is pretty awesomee xD

So I'm not gonna write much for now. I have been one of the randomest blogger by blogging once per month lol . I have decided to at least blog at the weekends now . It actually fills up my time . And yeah . It is all about the mood i am according to the current situation . I miss my life in Malaysiaa now ! I'm home sick :(